Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
