I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize