do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize