some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
