I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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