Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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