Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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