sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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