a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize