you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
