I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
