tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
