yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize