who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
