i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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