you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
