69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
