Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
