Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
