Moan for me like Helen Keller
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
