i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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