I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
