he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
