He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
