Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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