I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
