This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
