I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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