i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
