dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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