Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize