just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
