I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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