So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
