bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have fence marks all over my body
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
