just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
