Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
