The maid of honor just puked.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
