Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
