Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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