Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
As shirtless as possible
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
