You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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