Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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