I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
