I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
