I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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