You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
