ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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