Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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