I'm so fucking centered right now
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
