I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
