I hate your face
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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