btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
