On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
