I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
