Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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