ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just had sex on a roof
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
