I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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