He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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