Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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