these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
