This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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