ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
