You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Non-Jews are for practice
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
