I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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