Your tits are I can't wait for
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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