For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize