I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
