My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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