I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think i have herpe
just one?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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