names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
