i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
