Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he fucked my hip out of place.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
