and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
