yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
