True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize